Two-pint Mike
Rediscovering my alter ego
I’m an introvert, and I have an extrovert alter ego.
It only takes two beers.
I call him Two-pint Mike. He’s a fun guy.
But I had to stop drinking. People say after 8 weeks, you won’t even miss it.
Bullshit!
At two years sober, all I crave, is the sweet taste of my personality.
Stopping drinking changed my life. Now, I never get a hangover. Never. Who knew?!?
I sleep better, my mental health is better than ever, and of course I’ve lost weight.
I lost something else though. A crutch I relied on for social situations. I lost Two-pint Mike, and honestly, I’ve found that the hardest part of not drinking.
In the past, if I didn’t feel like going to a social function, that was easily overcome by getting there, having a drink and soon enough I’d be chatting along just fine. There’s nothing quite like a substance induced hit of dopamine and serotonin.
Now when I’m heading to a function, particularly business functions, and a pang of social anxiety or feeling of “can’t be fucked” comes up I can struggle to muster up the strength to be social.
It seems I went to many business functions for the alcohol, not because of the discussion topic, philanthropic cause or good company.
Business functions are particularly susceptible to feelings of can’t be fucked…
Honestly, some events I really only did go to for the free booze. Who doesn’t like a free drink?
Non-drinkers. Duh.
It took a while to work out how to overcome shyness without alcohol. I’d been using alcohol to bring out my inner extrovert my whole adult life, even if I didn’t previously realise that’s what I had been doing.
So how did I overcome it? Frankly, it’s a work in progress, but a large amount of progress was found doing Improv comedy classes.
Another is the recent birth of my daughter, which seems to have prompted my subconscious to start saying “I do not have time, for your anxiety”.
Alcohol allows us to let go of our inhibitions and treat life as play. Unfortunately, alcohol quickly tips from play to dangerous. As I said, Two-pint Mike is a fun guy. Four-pint Mike… a bit crazy. Six-pint Mike… “TAXI!”
In its simplest form, treating life as play is being able to see things in a humorous light. Viktor Frankl puts it this way:1
The attempt to develop a sense of humour and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of trick learned while mastering the art of living.
It’s taken me over 40 years to understand that play is the art of living. Improv helped me learn to play, and find the path to Two-pint Mike without using alcohol. Now Two-pint Mike is on tap. (pun intended!)
I no longer care about having a drink whenever the opportunity arises. I default to saying no when a drink is on offer, and get by just fine. I get by more than fine, I get by very happily and quite socially.
So having got to that point, I’m allowing myself to relax a little. About two months ago I had pint of beer with a pizza. My first drink in over two years, and a couple of weeks ago I had a glass of red wine with a nice steak. I do enjoy these things, and life’s too short to completely go without things we like.
My great grandmother used to say the key to a long and healthy life is “everything in moderation”. She lived to 96, so I think she was onto something. I’ll drink to that!
Moderately.
Cover image: Image by vecstock on Freepik
Man’s search for meaning, p.44
I love these honest reflections, and the effects of alcohol fluctuates from two pint to four to six! So true! Everything in moderation and live life as play, what classic wisdom!
I dig it. Love the Victor Frankl quote. Humour helps us cope with hard stuff, and life is full of hard stuff. Better to laugh at pain than anaesthetise it with drink.